Loving and Living Inside your Comfort Zone
Dispelling the myth that life begins at the end of our comfort zone
Is our Comfort Zone not meant to be comfortable? And is comfort not good for our well being? So why should we get out of our comfort zone?
We all have the right to be comfortable with our choices in life. How does one leave a comfort zone without the presence of discomfort and chaos? Outside of anything that gives true peace and contentment is the absence of just that. Can one succeed inside their comfort zone? I belief true and lasting success happens within your comfort zone! We should consider living in the comfort zone and growing from there, naturally evolving in the freedom and comfort of all our aspirations, actions and achievements.
What is the comfort zone?
I love the thought of being in my comfort zone, but I keep hearing and reading that it's not a good place if you want to succeed. Well, why not?! Why make and call it comfortable if we are not to enjoy it? Does comfort have more meanings than one? I believe a beautiful and yummy word such as 'comfort' has taken on negative impressions and has been corrupted and its time we take it back to the bright side where it belongs.
The definition of Comfort Zone
A place where one feels safe or at ease.
A settled method of working that requires little effort and yields only barely acceptable results.
To be clear, I am not trying to make anyone wrong, only to ask that we all think on this. The first definition is pretty straight-forward and one would ask then, why is it such a bad thing being in a place of safety and security? A place where one feels life is good where, health, wealth and prosperity are here or looming what’s wrong with that? It’s a nice place, a place of peace and contentment, love and intermittent bliss. That’s a good place right?
What about the second definition? Why would anyone in their right mind find comfort in giving the least effort in their work of sorts to deliberately yield barely acceptable result? There is no comfort in that surely, is there really? Something tells me that deep down inside every decent human being doing something, expecting a favorable outcome and finding it was for nothing, has very little if any lasting rewards, therefore would prove unfulfilling and uncomfortable. So why is this a comfort zone?
Because the interpretation of this second definition seem contradicting, I will not be ignoring it, but will set it aside as a flawed concept in this instance. I will be going from the premise of the comfort zone being, in the ease and safety of the known, avoiding the risk of doing something new, different, or unknown, in order to feel the familiarity of something, one therefore feels they are in control. In other words living in the confines of past experiences. Heck, this does not excite comfort either,
Why has the comfortzone been condemned?
Fear? The comfort zone is also gestured as a place where one tells themselves that it is safe and stable, staying in the evil they know, though mundane and soul sucking, lacking in expansion and evolution. Ignoring the urges to accomplish more and see dreams fulfilled due to multiple factor, such as; fear of the unknown, the feeling of incompetence in doing something different, afraid what others may think, not knowing how to, loss of control and other paralyzing limiting beliefs stopping them moving forward.
Would you agree with me that there is nothing comforting about this? This is the hell zone, isn't it? If we are true to ourselves we see it so. This is a place of feeling stuck, with no clarity and simply a place of helplessness and torment. This is not a true comfort zone clearly!
In order to free the comfort zone from this awful and unfair sentence, I will be referring to this definition concept as the ‘so called comfort zone’ or the 'hell zone'.
Most people also think that fear only lives inside the thought of leaving this ‘so called comfort zone’, but I beg to differ. Outside, inside or on the edge of the ‘so called comfort zone’ you are likely to stress out, become anxious, insecure, make poor choices and go as far as having a nervous breakdown and becoming seriously ill if placed under an uncontrollable amount of stress.
Semantics? Maybe, but for many people this ‘so called comfort zone’ theory is confusing, misleading, scary and stressful and some may miss the point all together.
Limiting beliefs and stress, no comfort zone
The stress response occurs when the body is alerted to danger, be that worry, anxiety, depression, anger e.t.c. which triggers the release of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol into the blood stream to ready us to fight or take flight. It is a protective response to threats and should not be switched on for prolong periods because the prolong presence of these chemicals in the blood stream can cause diseases.
Animals in nature for example, a deer being hunted, the stress response is expressed within the deer while it darts and weaves to avoid being caught. Eventually this very skillful and perhaps lucky deer escapes to find safety and comfort. Once this is accomplished, the deer returns to grazing 15 minutes later, the ordeal all forgotten. This is the nature of a healthy stress response.
However, we humans tend not to respond this efficiently. Most humans will take the stress of the event, (whether it’s happening inside or outside the ‘so called comfort zone/hell zone’) with them often through their entire lives, creating limiting blocks of fear from living life based on past stressful events.
This is defeating regardless of the side of the 'so called comfort zone/hell zone' we are on as we cannot create anything new living in the past, especially if that past is traumatic, negative and sad. So, you see stress and comfort are at two different ends of a spectrum. There is
dysfunction and disease lurking around prolonged stress and discomfort
growth, healing and repair occurring in comfort.
That makes the comfort zone a positive place to be. So, the question is, how can we live in true comfort reaching and acquiring our goals and dreams?
Inside the real comfort zone
The real comfort zone is living life fully present, without the stress and the fears paralysing us into inactivity. When I first started my chiropractic business, I personally did not like going to staged networking groups. I felt I had to force myself to get up at five thirty in the mornings to meet people superficially because I needed their business. I got stressed out felt physically ill often from doing it.
Why, because it just did not feel good to me personally. Why? Because I did not enjoy pushing myself to get up that early and meeting people briefly and almost artificially just because' I had to', I just was not feeling it. Yet, I pushed myself for two years then decided, for the small benefit it was not worth the huge stress anymore.
The push and fight was soul draining with little returns. I changed tactics and started doing health talks in my community, attending seminars and various other functions of interest and giving value. I met many like-minded people, I easily got into conversations, made friendships and generated business from being in the flow of enjoying the space I was in, feeling inspired and comfortable. The comfort zone is a flow state.
Why you should love your comfort zone
All are snuggled within your comfort zone.
Comfort, fulfillment andhappiness and such are inside jobs and nothing chased outside of yourself can give them to you in fullness. Its inside our comfort zone we can really ask the foundational questions and start building the life we want. Pushing ourselves out side the comfort zone of ourselves will not achieve the desired outcome for everyone.
We all learn differently. If you are an adrenaline junkie always looking for the rush of chemical flowing through you, by all means, push yourself and get your fix, that is your comfort zone. However, if you are like me and want to be grounded and flow to the next step without the pressure or the feeling of being pushed, you must be opened to be inspired. In the inspiration you will move without effort, almost like being carried down-stream towards your goals and dreams. The flow is found in the appropriate mindset first and then the rest follows. Hey, and guess what? You never have to leave your true comfort zone.
Force pushes back and always wins
Whenever I try to force anything, I find that it fails, backfire, retracts, breaks, pushes back or runs away. Forcing is doing something out of extortion, desperation, strain, tension fury, pressure e.t.c. Its like tuning into a FM station to listen to something from the AM frequency, its not gonna work. According to Sir Newton If one object exerts a force on another object, then the second object exerts an equal and opposite reaction force on the first. This is not to say we must not take action, because we must, but the action is best inspired from sound information which stimulates inspired action.
I remember once forcing a relationship that I knew was wrong for me. I let my pride get in the way and got caught up in a bubble. I was doing it for all the wrong reasons but told myself another story. I was fighting with myself and the situation and did not allow time to sit in my comfort zone and reason it through. I gave up my home, job and my life in one country to jet off to another country to be with someone I thought I knew. An inspired question while taking a moment in my space of comfort was all I needed. A friend asked me that question I couldn't ask myself," Are you excited?", to which my reply was instant and clear, "no" I snapped out of this determined, insane, pushy, forceful zone of having this relationship that did not make sense. I snapped out just in time to cost me everything but my life. My daughter and I were left homeless and I had to start again from scratch, but relieved with my clarity back and my mind in tacked.
Forcing someone or even yourself out of the 'so called comfort zone' is often like pushing from the frying pan and into the fire, where there is no extinguisher provided and resulting in crash and burn, break, run, backfire, and fail. The ‘so called comfort zone’ we are ask to leave has no preparation and we are asked to take risks on a level of blatant irresponsibility often. No doubt it can be awesome if it all works out and there is a soft landing. But why do we have to risk the pain of breaking? That is not enjoyable and that may cause us to contract further and perhaps run back to the ‘so called comfort zone’ vowing 'never again' because being pushed only made things worse, and rightly so.
One man's comfort is another man’s crisis
Do you like bungee jumping or sky diving? Have you ever done either? Do you think it’s fun? Do you think it’s for everyone? Personally, as I grow through the challenges I have been inspired to take, though I have never done either, I find the concept of something such as bungee jumping or sky diving slightly appealing. Two years ago, I probably would have told you, “absolutely not!” The point is, we are all different and something that may challenge me into procrastination, someone else finds it is a cruise.
Anyone can be pushed out of a plane or off a ledge or a cliff. However, if they are not prepared, and within the comfort of their readiness allowed to take the leap themselves, they are likely to end up worse off than they started.
We challenge and teach ourselves because we want to grow and develop to different levels of achievements. Is this outside of our comfort zone if we willingly make the choice to do this? In my opinion, it is not. If it is something you really wish to do, then it would be out of your comfort to deny yourself the thrill and satisfaction of doing it.
What is your comfort,milk it and be proud.
I have a great job most people would say and I should be happy with that. However, if you understand my story a little you will understand that my comfort zone is dynamically acquiring the lifestyle that sets me free to do all the things I want to do and frees up my time to do it. I could be happy to work the job I have until I retire and then live on a very meager to non-existing retirement fund and be happy with that. But that is not my comfort zone, that is a sad zone, it is the hell zone for me!
Within my comfort zone I am growing and creating the life I want. I am not separated from the things I enjoy, I am not separated from myself or living in wishes of a better tomorrow and doing nothing about it. I am evolving and becoming the me I am proud of, having the life of my dreams, and live in comfort doing it.
Cruise in comfort/Easy and relaxed gets the prize.
Bottom line is, if it enhances your happiness, it’s your true comfort zone. It is the hell zone that you need to grow away from. Not knowing what is in store for your future, not having a purpose, this is being outside of your true comfort zone and living outside of your true potential in my opinion.
We all want clarity and purpose, and though the lack of it is outside of the true comfort zone, this lack is not outside of ourselves. Often the true comfort zone or the 'so called comfort zone' can be seen as somewhere or something outside of ourselves. The 'so called comfort zone' is the hell zone and the place we first start to discover what you want from what we don't want and ask the questions on how to develop the mindset for growing, expanding and taking flight from these experiential foundations already acquired in life.
Start where you are and rid yourself of any guilt of being in this place, comfortable or not. Acknowledge where you are at. If its not where you want to be, do not make it or yourself wrong. This is where life begins. Start with the questions, where am I? Who am I, Where am I going? What do I want? Get the details of these answers, and you have planted the seeds to a beautiful life. Water them with inspiration and your will to nuture i.e. act on them.
Too many ads, books, articles and suggestion are asking us to get away from ourselves, away from our comfort zones, our place of contrast and creation, when its not possible. We need the contrast to figure out what we truly want. We are the common factor in all we do and therefore must go with ourselves on the journey we choose. Discover and embrace who the person on the journey with you is and where you want to go together. The person is you of course! But, who are you? And where do you want to go? What do you want? What is your purpose?
Having a loving and happy relationship with yourself, going in the direction of growth, will guide you to your purpose and within that is pure comfort. Everything we want exists inside our comfort zone, our true comfort zone. Instead of pushing outside of the unknown of ourselves to accomplish our dream, let us embrace our comfort zones as the place where all our challenges, hopes, dreams and discoveries unfolds and truly fall in love with who we are deeply and our possibilities, becoming inspired, consequently falling in love with life.
Thashna
Thinker, Entrepreneur, Eleutheromaniac and Freedom Finder.
Learn more about unblocking your mind and freeing yourself to the best version of you at Thashna Walsh Lifestyle Therapy. You know it’s inside you. Let me help you remove the blocks…
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References
Becoming Supernatural by Dr, Joe Dispenza
Ask and It Is Given by Esther and Jerry Hicks
The Ecstacy of Surrender by Dr Judith Orloff